PLEASE STOP REPLYING ALL TO THIS EMAIL THREAD
EVERYONE IS GETTING ALL OF THE EMAILS AND MY BLACKBERRY IS WRITHING IN PAROXYMS OF PLEASURE AND IT IS GIVING A DISEASE TO MY UPPER THIGH AND I CAN’T ENJOY MY WHITE PIZZA WITH MY WIFE
SERIOUSLY, MY BLACKBERRY IS LIKE “I’M COMING, OH, I’M COMING” AND THEN IT’S JUST YOU FOOLS REPLYING-ALL, TELLING EVERYONE TO STOP REPLYING ALL. IT’S DRIVING ME BONKERS!!!!!!
[Editor's note: Every time I hear the word Bonkers I become happy. This can't last forever, but for now, if it seems like I'm about to murder you, just whisper "bonkers" and it's like my safe word, I'll back down.]
[Note: Tommy's Book Club is "doing" 2666 and even though I have acres of other stuff I gots to do I think I'm going to do it because otherwise I won't read it until, like ... "2666" ...LOL!!!! Tommy is really "open and free" so if you live in the Bay Area and are reading this I bet it'd be ok if you came!!!!]
PLEASE STOP REPLYING ALL EVERYBODY
ALL OF YOU WHO ARE REPLYING-ALL JUST TO TELL EVERYONE TO STOP REPLYING ALL YOU ARE JUST AS BAD AS THE PEOPLE WHO UNCONSTRUCTIVELY TELL EVERYONE TO REMOVE THEM FROM THIS LIST, WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN IS FOR EVERYONE TO JUST STOP REPLYING-ALL AND JUST SIT IN BLACKBERRY ZAZEN SILENCE, AND THAT IS THE ONLY WAY THE EMAILS WILL STOP
PLEASE
MY BLACKBERRY
MY WHITE PIZZA
ANYWAY, I LOVE THIS RESTAURANT
MY AGENT TOOK ME HERE
SHE BOUGHT MY NOVEL
HER AGENCY IS CALLED “ALCOHOL, TOBACCO, AND FIREARMS”
ISN’T THAT CLEVER?
MY AGENT JOKES, “MY NAME IS PATTY TOBACCO — AND JEREMY, HE’S DEFINITELY JEREMY ALCOHOL!!! I GUESS THAT MAKES ORRIN ‘MR. FIREARMS’!” WRY SMILE, SWIRLING SIZZLE STICK
YOU KNOW THE DRILL
9 Comments
If I lived in the Bay Area I would…come.
Sorry. I couldn’t resist.
(Also I haven’t read 2666 either yet and I feel like I should. The covers and endpapers are so beautiful I get tripped up looking at them and never venture further inside. Nor’ve I finished Savage Detectives…I will someday… But I love his poetry so much and it’s what’s least raved about in BolañoBolañoBolaño mania, so I feel like I have a kind of secret way with him. Which makes my half-finished/unopened relationship with the novels o.k. A bookclub would be nice. PEER PRESSURE.)
Also where do you keep getting this hazy SF-themed banner art??
I totally just ate white pizza while participating in a conversation about REPLY ALL HORRORS.
I currently have one reply all stringmonster stubbornly reviving itself every few hours, no matter how times I think I’ve banished it to “archives”. Someone always comes up with something else to say & REPLY ALL.
your agent is BUYING your novel? funny business
thanks for fact-checking my flash fiction, schnozzles!!!
what is it that agents actually do? “acquire” novels?
an agent acts on another’s behalf
agents actress on other’s behalves
http://www.lysergia.com/AcidArchives/OtherHalf_Can.jpg
Crazy group. I don’t know anything about them.
http://www.myspace.com/psychicenvelopes
Track 6. Line 4. “AND THEN YOU DROVE ME BONKERS.”
it’s over
http://dinersjournal.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/01/15/this-winters-cold-truths/
“You show me a restaurant that does consistently bonkers business in good times — or one that’s doing just fine in these bad times — and I’ll show you a restaurant that has been plotted and fashioned with a real understanding of its zip code”
bonkers now refers to that which is plotted, fashioned, and consistent. Sorry, man.