2040

Free Wi-Fi at the Phoenix airport. I’m one of those guys sitting on the floor near an outlet, working on my laptop. Except I don’t really look like one of those guys, because I’m unshaven and there’s underwear spilling out of my shoulder bag and I’m not wearing a purple short-sleeved polo shirt with a [...]

Triumpffffffff

A totally new blend of apathy, super-grateful for your support Click The Heart icon, <3 <3 as it Depresses, it makes uh Eponymous Sound. Hot gurgling; Money. The beginning ahh fuck this Are you writing POETRy?? Gray Ranch must be some sort of code. the hottest female bloggers love Daria THIS TEXT IS MORE IMPORTANT [...]

Clarissa Explains Most of It

Horsey is champing at the bit! He is a professor of Spanglish at Domenicka Girl University of Barbados County, which is a hot little sub-county within Marin, in Northern California. Horsey teaches: poetry indie-rock criticism short story table mannahzzzz peacock shootin’ jewish studies ovary sciences a river runs through it (fly fishing) ENGL204: “John Fante [...]

Link to an Interesting Article About Twitter

SHOUTING INTERNET GUY: I CAN’T WAIT UNTIL EVERYONE LEAVES AND IT’S JUST ME IN THE OFFICE BLASTING STREAMING WEIRD INSTRUMENTAL HIP HOP AND MY TINY BOWL OF HONEY ROASTED CASHEWS RUNNETH OVER, WEARING A CRAZY WIG OF PAD THAI THAT FALLS INTO MY EYES, GCHATTING WITH MC PAUL BARMAN, GCHATTING with self-loathing people in New [...]

Red Red Meat

I like/hate it when bloggers say things like… Welcome, HTMLGiant webtrawlers! …whenever there’s an influx of traffic from a generous link posted by a generous fellow webtrawler. But I’ll say it anyway: Hi, guys! I also struggle. I also did drugs. I also occasionally write things down and think too hard about the wrong things. [...]

Blogfarm, blogfuture, blogheart, blogtown, blogtrain, blogcap, blogcane, blogclone, blogclown, blogstop, blogpound, blogtrap, blogcork, blogcow, blogcrown

…anyway, this morning as I was walking into the office, I am Jewish, I am “all traveled out,” not going anywhere for the holidays, what about you, skeleton-crew people in the office are doing LOTS of shouting stuff out to each other, feeling their oats, it’s OK, it’s kind of bugging me, I do it [...]

grumpus

BLOGGING IS A POINTLESS ACTIVITY///////////// HERE ARE MY POINTLESS THOUGHTS ON BLOGS////////////////// A GIANT SANS-SERIF WHO CARES DESCENDS UPON THE CITY, CRUSHING EVERYTHING THAT IS NOT AN ADORABLE ANIMAL OR AN ATTRACTIVE WOMAN M.A. ORTHOFER’s UNSWERVING GROUCHINESS ABOUT BOOKS AND BOOK COVERAGE ALWAYS MAKES ME HAPPY. I’M NOT SURE WHY. PLEASE “STAY TUNED” FOR A [...]

Domo Corpusti

OCEAN: The black flag wavers for a fucking second, not safe for work, a grand glugging gets going and the waters of the world drain away. BUSTY CACTUS: They drain? Don’t you think they’d evaporate first? OCEAN: Naw. No. They drain. Through mine anus. Through mine geo-bio-tunnel. Which, I should add, can be quite sensitive. [...]

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Two Slavic tourists are walking down the sunny-ass asphalt. They chatter heatedly, Slavic arms gesticulating with animation. They stop outside of a COFFEE SHOP. The hung-shingle-style sign swings EVER SO GENTLY IN DA BREEZE. Should I render it “L’Breeze”? Does a dead animal breathe a little when you step on its stomach? Would the cynic [...]

TO ALL THE SECRET BLUSTERERS

ALL-CAPS NARRATOR: I LOVE FITTED BASEBALL CAPS, YOU’RE ALWAYS PISSING AND MOANING ABOUT HOW FITTED BASEBALL CAPS CRAMP YOUR STYLE, BUT THAT is YOUR STYLE, YOU ARE A HUMAN FITTED BASEBALL CAP, SO WHAT’S THE BIG IDEAL? [A newt enters wearing big sunglasses, walking cool. He didn't sleep the night before. He carries his own [...]