My College Radio Application

Dear mom and dad, I went to college from 1999-2003, where I lived, ate, breathed, and smoked college radio (WOBC-FM) all day every day. Then, with a year left, I dropped out to move to CA to work for a magazine. I worked there for the next eight years. Then I fell in love with [...]

“Spilling Juice On Me Like You’ve Got Someplace To Go”

SHANNON: Can I borrow your yoga mat BETHANY: Keep your voice down, I don’t want those boys to know I do yoga SHANNON: What boys? Who cares? B: Yoga is a bourgeois activity. Also I feel like a girl doing yoga S: U are a girl B: I know TELEPROMPTER: Hey girls I’m a journalist [...]

Paparazzo: Episode Eight

Announcing Episode Eight of Paparazzo, a radio show about culture broadcasting from Paris, France. The software I used to record the phone call adds distortion after 10 minutes of recording. It comes in at about the 9:30 mark of today’s episode, which is about “nothing/suffering” [Listen to Episodes One, Two, Three,  Four, Five, Six, and [...]

Drubbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb’d

My very close friend Andrew Leland has started blogging for the Oakland Museum of California. He only has three posts up; he has been very shy about it. The link is here. I was with him when he saw that the most recent post had gone up, and he was like, “This reads like a [...]

Mail Sack

Hi Readers! Every Week We Here at my blog get almost Thousands of letters, emails, texts, mails, balloons, of all stripes — all of them grammatical, all of them fine. A typo or two here or there is actually healthy — in precisely the same way that a forest fire is healthy for Ecology. You’re [...]

nyc, 1993

INTERVIEWER I wish your daughter could read your poetry. But with titles like “Neighborly Cum,” you’ve presumably guaranteed that she won’t be allowed, either by yourself or her tutors. And when she does find your work, chances are, she’ll be disturbed forever. I have to ask: Why do you all but ensure that at some [...]

Don’t fear or shoot the messenger’s reaper-buddies (when they come over)

PAUL PREENSHAPE, 29, sits in a room with BEN LYNTSPRIE, 28. It’s not a cafe, not a living room, though it resembles both. LYNTSPRIE is the theater critic for a major national glossy weekly. PREENSHAPE teaches in the library science dept. of a major national glossy weekly research university in the American Southwest. They are [...]

psychic dancehall

FAMOUS SHITHEAD (NYC): Hey BLIND RABBIT STRANDED @ PDX: Hi FS: Check out the cover of Artforum PDX: Cool FS: Contemporary art like this gets made so that hot lovers can hang out inside of it and feel intelligent. Then they trot off somewhere and do it. PDX: Really??? Sex? FS: Yep PDX: Are those [...]

Month

—I drove by you this weekend. You were standing alone in the Castro coughing and wheezing, bent over an exploded Sunday New York Times. —I was having an attack of some kind, not asthma [A month later] —Is it true that you’re blind? —No, I’m sighted, but my vision is impaired, it’s ailing, it’s flagging [...]

suburban caffeine death fantasy

RICO: Sucks that we’re not allowed to complain anymore. PIMM: Me too. RICO:  Just to confirm: we decided that blogging is funny and ‘grand’ but that to write a sustained performance destined for ‘print’, like a novel or a book-length unstageable play, you have to “rose at 5:30 a.m. to write and often stayed up [...]