Cy Preclops

—I haven’t had a drink since Saturday.
—It’s Wednesday.
—I know
—You sound like an alcoholic.
—I know. It still feels good not to drink. I’m going to keep going with it.
—Good! That’s good.
—Every time I make a proclamation like this I immediately undermine myself, but I sort of want to become totally straight-edge: no booze, no drugs, no [...]

personal pan pizza

—Quit drinking coffee, day 4, still feel a little moony, a little spacey, but pretty much out of the woods
—Blog, internet, writing, friends, harmful, peaceful occlusions. Dog just realized “Mystery Science Theater 3000″ is a brilliant name for a (brilliant) TV show. Couldn’t get enough of the photographs accompanying this NYT article about The Onion, [...]

Permanent Teardrop.

Hey Cancer
How’s “the darkness
Fine
Not as dark as you make it sound
Black beans and codfish
Shapeshifter rsvp’d.
Self-Zine?
Got fired Friday, can’t make it
Dog wearing lipstick?
Dunno,  she’s in heat, maybe spayed,  upset
really?
aye
listen
Fear-monger
canceled too. it’s just gonna be me you and self-zine
shapeshifter
And li’l caesar
The pizza guy

used to work for Men’s Wearhouse.
Hey whoww ofenn does your zine come out?
—Every other fortnight
does [...]

Eyeball Soup

There is a bowl of chili here.
Steam rises from its beans and meatflecks. It billows politely around a dollop of cold sour cream.
As you gaze into the stew, my face—the face of a young, obese Steven Spielberg, “replete” with undirty baseball cap and full Jewish hair fanning out from beneath the cap’s circumference—appears to you [...]

“gravity’s pinned minions / ain’t that sweet”

Four new poems by Richard Parks in Snow Monkey. Love em. “Hey: what’s the Spanish for ‘ass curtain’?”
I really picked the wrong night last night to drink four beers smoke 40 fags and eat a suiza, man, sheesh! Why? Well, today I have to be in 1980s businesswoman drag all day, for work—shoulder-pads, heels, thigh-cut [...]

Thorne Hall

GARY: Instead of working, I’m going to go home, caramelize the crisper’s two floppy carrots in some hot marijuana oil with onions, and take it from there.
BEA: Don’t. You’ll hate yourself on Monday. To say nothing of Sunday. You have a profound amount of work to do.
GARY: I know that, Bea. But but but but [...]

DEAD TOMCAT: Hey what are you doing
DUTCH EXPERIMENTALIST: I am sorting texts, cinema; this.
DEAD TOMCAT: Come get a drink.
D.Ex: All right. [They go to a bar.]

Gloaming {the Cube}

TED BILLIONS: I know you’re burned out, Leland. Hang in there
LELAND: Fuck this. Fuck you.
TED: You are a very privileged person. You’re looking a gift horse in the mouf
LELAND: And you’re looking a gift horse in its butt. Parry! Thrust!
TED: I’m wounded. You’ll pay for this
LELAND: What part of me gives you the sense that [...]

Protected: scary gender theater

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

little vamp

I have known many women who hate the word moist. Sometimes they specify that they also hate the phrase moist panties. At least three ladies I’ve known have independently reported this distaste over the years. I think this is something a lot of American women share. I don’t hate this phrase. I don’t love it, [...]