David Crosby fan fiction

—Why was the American Office filmed in Berlin?
—It wasn’t.
—I read it was.
—Where?
—In Sergio Aragones’s autobiography, Plato Fails
—You are constantly joking around, it makes it fun to be around you
—Ya, thanks for saying so
—Except I heard you made a rape joke yesterday.
—I did. I regret it. I already apologized to Tom.
—Why’d you do it?
—I was drunk. [...]

Cy Preclops

—I haven’t had a drink since Saturday.
—It’s Wednesday.
—I know
—You sound like an alcoholic.
—I know. It still feels good not to drink. I’m going to keep going with it.
—Good! That’s good.
—Every time I make a proclamation like this I immediately undermine myself, but I sort of want to become totally straight-edge: no booze, no drugs, no [...]

Eyeball Soup

There is a bowl of chili here.
Steam rises from its beans and meatflecks. It billows politely around a dollop of cold sour cream.
As you gaze into the stew, my face—the face of a young, obese Steven Spielberg, “replete” with undirty baseball cap and full Jewish hair fanning out from beneath the cap’s circumference—appears to you [...]

“gravity’s pinned minions / ain’t that sweet”

Four new poems by Richard Parks in Snow Monkey. Love em. “Hey: what’s the Spanish for ‘ass curtain’?”
I really picked the wrong night last night to drink four beers smoke 40 fags and eat a suiza, man, sheesh! Why? Well, today I have to be in 1980s businesswoman drag all day, for work—shoulder-pads, heels, thigh-cut [...]

Thorne Hall

GARY: Instead of working, I’m going to go home, caramelize the crisper’s two floppy carrots in some hot marijuana oil with onions, and take it from there.
BEA: Don’t. You’ll hate yourself on Monday. To say nothing of Sunday. You have a profound amount of work to do.
GARY: I know that, Bea. But but but but [...]

Gloaming {the Cube}

TED BILLIONS: I know you’re burned out, Leland. Hang in there
LELAND: Fuck this. Fuck you.
TED: You are a very privileged person. You’re looking a gift horse in the mouf
LELAND: And you’re looking a gift horse in its butt. Parry! Thrust!
TED: I’m wounded. You’ll pay for this
LELAND: What part of me gives you the sense that [...]

Brainstorming Session

SHANNON: Maybe we should have called this a barn-storming session!
[General laughter.]
SHANNON: [Cont] No but really, Jacob, you haven’t been updating the admin site, and we’ve all fallen behind because of your laziness. What’s been going on?
JACOB: Well, I stopped being a vegetarian, and it’s really thrown my digestion for a loop. I also started smoking [...]

Just stumbled across the new DFWwiki, made by this Spring 2009 class at Pomona. Moving, useful.
New Ryan Trecartin videos I haven’t watched yet (via Rooos):

http://vimeo.com/5841178
http://vimeo.com/5793454

After my Frederick Exleyian / Norman Bombardinian weekend, I am coming down with a cold. Please leave folk remedy suggestions in the comments, please.

Against Film Crews

Hey Thank You The Rumpus and Stephen Elliott Enterprises For Giving This Webiste Another Vote of Confidence! Welcome, Subsistence Farmers! (??)

There was a film crew setting up on Valencia & 20th st this morning, 9:30ish. It provoked immediate resentment, does every time. Not sure why. [Notes: Obese Tom Stoppardesque/Wildean artist/novelist/writer envisions a scene for his [...]

Shopping Cart

this is supposed to be a fantastic comp. Also, these guys are awesome (via efd)
looking fwd to reading this, once I take this hellraiser mask off. Kevin Killian’s been “killiang” it on the sfmoma blog. funny fotos of r. pettibon
what else, whatever, work is bonkers, in “its own way”
lunch: brought two sandwiches, one pb&j, one [...]