Sonofavitch

Among the subplots Joshua Cohen cut from Witz: a Spinoza section, set in seventeenth century Netherlands; a section written entirely in transliterated Yiddish; a section written entirely in Hebrew (untransliterated, which is to say with Hebrew characters); a section set in (the nonexistent Jewish) Heaven, which I severed to form my previous novel, A Heaven [...]

Domo Corpusti

OCEAN: The black flag wavers for a fucking second, not safe for work, a grand glugging gets going and the waters of the world drain away. BUSTY CACTUS: They drain? Don’t you think they’d evaporate first? OCEAN: Naw. No. They drain. Through mine anus. Through mine geo-bio-tunnel. Which, I should add, can be quite sensitive. [...]

Dirtbikin’ Through the Times

two quotations from the nyt: White excitedly showed sketches for his contribution to Meatpaper magazine’s party at Camino the following night: a pig’s head stuffed with a terrine of tongues. (“Blah Blah Beats the Nodes Out of the Snot-Rags,” p. A57) In effect, anybody with money can circumvent the Legislature by putting something to a [...]

world records

Twilight of the Superheroes

Last night I was in the Powell St. BART station returning home after seeing Twilight because when I am hungover and unslept I turn into a fourteen-year-old girl. For a couple of years now this station has almost exclusively run single-product campaigns, e.g. with every single billboard and pole-poster–at  least several hundred throughout the station–devoted [...]

The forgotten corners of our world

ARFIN: are you a little shitwizard? [Impatient, and with furious affection] Yes you are! CELEBRIANNE: no, I’m just sensitive A: What did you do last night during the historic election? C: Thought about sadness A: Are you really that self-important? C: No. I mean, yes. I acknowledge that the historic election will mean that the [...]

paf

my sails are suddenly windless the internet is not helping

sabreteeth

Coming soon on Good Jobbbb: More Internet More occluded life-jams Jasmine Tea Houses Concert memories Sheafed Knifes Leaflet Porn Campesinos Campesongos Campebongos Chupacabras (marijuana cigarette dipped in wine/malt liquor–blend) Tea-tree oil cigarettes (aka Natural Mentholz, no toothpix allowed) Knee Braces Dental Braces Neck Braces Neck Laces Shoe Shines Torpor Torpid Speedos (Aka Torpedoes) Nudity Fruitidy [...]

duty free

I have been given a bottle of Cachaça Sabiá. Tonight I drank it and then shaved. Imagine me, sugar-drunk, hacking at my neck with a Mach 3, singing the old Brazilian songs! That’s inaccurate—that’s not how I shave. Today on the street we saw a man use a whip to whack a cigarette out of someone [...]

Where are the prawns?

If something is both a pro and a con, we’ll call it a prawn.