Monthly Archives: January 2009

pointless internet daisychain

Productivity asymptotically approaching 0. I like the literary saloon. I think it’s funny that they call a NYT article about Bolaño’s alleged heroin use stunningly uninformative. I appreciate their grouchy, translation-obsessed English righteousness. I met a nice guy who likes to talk about his former alleged heroin use. I just coined the phrase “human acid tabby” in an email. An email… to you! Did you get it? I allegedly ate two Motrin IB yesterday. Today I am thinking about but not heeding this song:


UPDATE: I am still on the internet. Siltbreeze records dude Roland Seward Woodbe’s blog rules. And his listener hour on WFMU is so effing righteous!!! Listen!!! siltbreeze on wfmu


UPDATE: I am so full of shit, I wrote all that having listened to one song. I was excited to find its existence; who knows if it’s any good or not? It has to be good; it’s siltbreeze on FMU. seriously, I am a human acid tabby.

UPDATE: It is awesome!!!!!!


Over the last week or so, I’ve occasionally heard hilarious, breathless, deranged readings of Elizabeth Alexander’s Presidential inauguration poem, “Praise Song for the Day,” on WFMU. This morning, as it happened, DJ Kenny G was doing an entire show devoted to different listeners’ remixes and interpretations. Some of the funniest ones, in my opinion, don’t alter the text at all. I enjoyed sort of recognizing the poem, but wondering what the hell was going on, and then, as more of it came out, “the figuring-it-out at kitchen tables,” my smile cements itself and, however mean-spirited it is, it’s glad-making nonetheless. James Urbaniak’s rendition does change the text, but to great effect:

James Urbaniak, \”What If\”

Kenny G will be posting all of the readings on the WFMU blog over the next few days. “Recommended.”

* * *

If you live in NYC, which I do not, you must go to the South First gallery in Williamsburg this Friday evening for the opening of a new sculpture show by my favorite young artist in America, Zak Kitnick. This show opening, along with bialies, “midnight knishes”, and unprotected sex, is among the only real reasons to live in New York City anymore.


nsf you



‘you have model breath’
by quilty


‘you have model breath’


your breath smells like
teeth stung by the acid
of stomach bile


like come
and smoke
& & &


no bread,
say that much, no
mayo, the little hairs
inside Tod’s nostrils,
those “gay tubes of leather”


no reeking lamp

or academic paunch



nor queso


I prefer the milkbone mouth
of the Labrador
















except today































“Sometimes I Wish We Were an Eagle”

You know how your little brother Spronky covers his eyes and thinks that means you can’t see him? That’s what I’m doing today here on my blog. My paws are over my eyes. You can’t see me. I’m writing in my journal. There is a hot babysitter kneeling next to an ottoman. It is 1989. She has a Peter Gabriel tape in her purse. She is wearing a scarf. Birth control has been invented.

You know those stickers on bikes that say this bike is a pipe bomb? What is the deal with those stickers?


I’m tired today. I saw Dept. of Eagles at the Cafe du Nord last night. Early show. They were terrific. This is the sentence about how I am too sleepy to write anything worth reading, unless you are writing an article about Monday, January 26, 2009, and what sleepy, overweight guys thought about on that day.

I’m trying out Pandora today, because all my regular internet radio stations are acting unreliably. Television Personalities begat Field Mice begat Modern Lovers demos.

I was sleepy yesterday, as well. I ate a passel of Chinese Food. Saddleshoos was wearing a vintage sequin jacket that had the same effect on me that a great poem can have.

The swift, ornery fox crumples up his drawing of a lazy, bisexual dog.

Today, benign nonsense is confusing, almost upsetting

Today, benign nonsense is confusing, almost upsetting

Where’s the best?

All the beef,


P.S. Sometimes I Wish We Were an Eagle, the new Bill Callahan solo record, is also terrific. “Recommended.”

To investigate: Numero Group

bersa discos


tommy had this book, it looks awesome


quoinstone sent this, it’s fun

I’m feeling uninspired, Internet

you little Internet, you

Jawbone’s inspired

keep it coming, bro

Listening to the radio, I became psyched about a litany of remixy cumbia things:

  1. Uno
  2. ***
  3. &&&
  4. #$#

Facebook has been cracking me up

James Crabtree sent a message to the members of Prospect Magazine.


Prospect’s next edition is in a railway station near you next Thursday – and its a cracker. We’d like your thoughts on the cover. Its a toss-up between two great essays.

Option 1 – A strikingly original political argument from Britain’s hottest new thinker, Phillip Blond, on “Red Toryism” – the argument that, in response to the credit crunch, conservatives should veer radically to the left, and introduce a local, anti-business politics that breaks-up TESCO and turns back the market. But perhaps its too political for some people’s tastes?

Option 2 – On his 200, celebrate Darwin with Adrian Desmond’s superb piece on the little-recognised importance of the anti-slavery movement in Darwin’s moral thinking. But perhaps people have had a bit much Darwin fatique already this year?

Which cover option – and image – do you like best?

The Blond cover –


The Darwin cover –


Go here – and anser this one question, to let us know what you think

It’ll take about 10 seconds of your time, and we’d appreciate it the advice.


ps – can i stress those jpegs are early mock-ups, not the final options. We’ll send the final choice in a day or two.
pps – in the next issue we also have brilliant essays on Iran’s revolution at 30, the secret behind Gaza, the real importance of Sam Huntingdon, “public service narrowcasting”, and why, despite the best efforts of CSI, we still fear pathology. It is, even if we say so, a really strong issue.

get the fuck off my lawn