mouth of the navigator

  • Roommate of the Century’s band plays Friday (TOMORROW/TAMARI) at the Knockout, ~9/10 p.m.
  • Saturday, at the Main SF Public Library’s Koret Auditorium, for free, a Jack Spicer tribute feat. Raekwon, Kevin Killian, Young Jeezy, Lewis Ellingham, D.A. Powell, Robert Gluck, Leslie Scalapino, Lisa Robertson, T.I., and others. 1-4 p.m. Bring a towel-lamp (??)
  • Uncle Dave started making portraits!
  • Last night I was like “which CD Wright book is the best?” and mr. guy said “duh, the one that has the ‘selected poems'”. So: always get the “selected poems.” right??
  • Hey, reader! Try out this exclusive GoodJobbbbb Rude Joke this weekend at a party!
    YOU: Say, how big is your “carbon footprint”?
    PARTY-FRIEND: [Answers defensively and at length]
    YOU: OK, but how about your “carbon bra-size”?
    PARTY-FRIEND: [Sprays drink everywhere, overwhelmed by hilarity]
  • I’ll link to anything, if you ask
  • Seems like I’m hitting a blog-crossroads where I’m just linking to everything anyone emails me that’s remotely OK. Should I be writing excruciating subpolitical essays instead?

LOS ANGELES REWINDS ITSELF

a “comedy”

MAN-CHILD [Weeping]: But I love you! I love you! I still love you!!

rca-dog

[DOG cocks its head in imitation of the RCA dog]

BUCEPHELA [Inserting another cigarette into her cigarette-holder]: Darling, don’t mewl. I can’t stand your mewling.

MANCHILD: But “darling,” you’ve destroyed me! My face is a graveyard of tears! Look at my “teats”! [Makes “teat-tents” with his pincers on his t-shirt, which depicts, whatever, how about the image above]

BUCEPHELA: Would you like me to be your lover, or your boss?

MC: What about… my “editor”?

B: You’d like that? I don’t think you’d like that. The first thing I’d do as your editor…

[MC is weeping and crumples into a cross-legged slouch on the floor. The dog comes over and sniffs, licks his face]

MC [pushing away the pup]: No, Bitch-Bitch, no — off — down — — Oh…

BUCEPHELA: …first thing I’d do is make you live in a railroad-style apartment with at least four other people your age. No more of this solitary forcefeeding you do in your dank little stankhole. Living with other people would make you more accountable… or at least it’d make you feel your near-total absence of dignity more acutely.

MC [weeping]: Oh, a boo, a boo hoo hoo…

BUCEPHELA: Item of business number two as your editrix would be to delete everything and have you start over.

MC: Delete… everything? Even my “Pumby-Wumby”?

B: Especially your Pumby-Wumby.

MC: But the “Pee-Dubb” is my greatest work! BlogFace Magazine called it “similar to interesting things I’ve read”! I thought you liked it! Once I heard you whistling the song from the Angels /group therapy scene: [Singing] “Oh, Angels, Lean your heads together /  confer like drunks roving home / shove a starfish up the ass / of the ocean / a volcano fulla bones…”

B: I hate all of that. Start over. Move out. Get with it.

MC [weeping, pawing at BUCELLA’s ankles]: Oh, “Busey”…..

gary-busey-batshit-crazy

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