The Gayest Starbucks in the World

Ninth in an never-ending series of  memos to myself. Forgot to drink caffeine today. Spent the whole rest of the day twitching and blinking at everything — including empty fruit-tins. I sometimes wish I was British. It’s at these moments that my unborn daughters wish I was Australian, and my unborn sons wish I were Czech. I just spent a long time spell-checking a document, only to realize InDesign was using the Czech dictionary, which is why it wasn’t recognizing words like bought and document.

  • Today a friend emailed their friend who then emailed me, their friend, a link to a website called FRUIT MYSTERY. Visiting this website gave me perhaps my first or at least the strongest adult sense I’ve ever had of someone much younger than I, doing something I wanted to do when I was their age, but their being much more advanced, and more Australian, than I will ever be. FRUIT MYSTERY is the child that is father to Uncle Andy’s Giggle Shack, the ancient precursor to Good Jobbbbb (and unpreserved by the Wayback Machine, alas…)
  • Memo to myself: read Frank Stanford (thanks to “Anonymous Friend” for the tip!)
  • Before I forget: I want to write an essay about the Gayest Starbucks in the World, which is located near the corner of Castro and 18th St. here in San Francisco. I am interested in the way this supposedly homogenized (there are two puns in there — think of the Milk they use for the lattés! What???) chain store becomes completely… co-opted? appropriated? by gay culture. A friend recently told me that the baristas there even have their own lingo: she asked for a mocha with whipped cream, and the cashier shouted to the barista making her drink, “Spank it!” I might want to include a discussion of the TKEST (not sure of an superlative yet) MCDONALD’S IN THE WORLD, which is located at Stanyan and Haight St. Former locus of sixties counterculture, now a site for gutterpunks and their dogs, across from the site of a future Whole Foods. I don’t know. Memo to myself: don’t actually write this essay.
  • I’m also not going to write an essay rounding up different contemporary singers who all sound similar to me: Corey Dargel, Owen Pallett, another really good example I forgot
  • Stumbling upon this short/sweet Wyatt Mason post today synthesized six things I’d been thinking about all weekend:
    A. Rimbaud, R. Bolaño, learning Spanish, poetry, translation, relationships

8 thoughts on “The Gayest Starbucks in the World

  1. A.B. #2

    duuuuude, I know that Starbucks! Or maybe a diff. Starbucks? My godmother regularly goes to this one Starbucks she refers to as the “gender-bender Starbucks” because everyone working there is transgendered, including the manager.

    But she lives in Bernal Heights and works near the Embarcadero, so I don’t think it’s the one on Castro and 18th.

    Last semester in my Anthropology of Religion course, the professor was constantly expounding upon the importance of understanding how religions are “locally received”, i.e., Islam is expressed differently in Indonesia than in Nigeria, etc etc etcccc.

    But WHOA. What about…locally received Starbucks????

    This is entry #1237 in PhD theses I will never write.

  2. Pete Sellers

    From Breakfast on through all the day
    At home among my friends I stay,
    But every night I go abroad
    Afar into the land of Nod.

  3. quilty Post author

    A.B.2: My sense is that this Starbucks isn’t so much transgendered as it is… flamingly gay. In a swishy male gay guy kind of way. So: no to goths and gender indeterminacy; yes to… swishy gay guys spanking yr latté.

    puppers: aye, the McD’s behind Amoeba. It should be noted that I’ve never entered either of these establishments. So maybe instead of writing this essay I should “make an essay” into them, and be changed forever (into a fat, gender-neutral, overcaffeinated gutterpunk!!)

  4. quilty Post author

    holy shit, stinky — that’s it exactly. I’m way off with my “swishy” nonsense above. It’s all Bears. My whole angle has changed.

    I wonder what the gutterpunk’s nickname for the McDs is.

  5. i wonder too

    I bet gutterpunks across the country know it by the nickname. It’s like a migration point. You could probably ask those kids in Tompkins Square Park what the McDonald’s on Haight next to Golden Gate Park is called and they would know. But they might not tell you. Or me. Or anyone else reading this blog. Now I really want to know, though. Maybe if I didn’t wash my hair for a month they would take pity on me and let me in on the secret nickname knowledge…but I don’t think I want to know quite that much.


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