drunkblogging the crankysphere

WRITING IS A PERFORMANCE

AND HOW MANY PLAYS HAVE BEEN PERFORMED IN AUGUST RESPECTABLE THEATERS IN NEW YORK CITY BY DRUNK ACTORS

IS THIS A PROPER SCHOOL OF ACTING? DRUNK ACTING?

GUYS, I’M WASTED

AND HERE I AM ON THE INTERNET, HOLDING MY fIREHOSE

I’M THE CLEVERSEST PERSIMMON IN THE BUCKET

AND THE BUCKET IS EMPTY

I WENT TO “DADDY’S” AND DRANK A BASKET OF WHISKEY WITH INTERNET PRIVACY, WHO IS A FINE WRITER AND SOMEONE I ADMIRE DEEPLY, WHO WITH HIS INTERNET SAVVY AND HIS CRITICAL THINKING SKILLS WILL SURELY FIND THIS WEB SITE

I ENJOYED LISTENING TO HIM RESPOND TO MY EGOISTIC, EARNEST ENQUIRIES WITH GRACE AND TINY GLASSES

GOD, FISH, BREATH, WATER

NARNIA, SPAIN, LONDON, INDIANA

CHANGE, SQUASH, BUTTS, FAT,

LABIA, LARD, LARDO, LANYARD

SO IT’S NEW YORK, AND IT’S YOUR OWN CRITICAL FACULTIES PREENING IN THE MIRROR, “OH, OH, THIS DRESS MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A FALUN GIXEN, A TROMPE L’FOXXXXX, WEAR IT, GIRL, AND BE BLONDE AGAINE”

SHAME ON YOU, SHAME ON RICE, SHAME ON ME SHAME ME TWICE

LADLES APPROACHING INFINITY

MY FEELINGS CAN BE TWO THINGS TONIGHT: HURT OR BLESSéD.  WHICH ONE YOU PICK? BAMFA

DUDE, I’M WASTED, I HAVE TO GO TO SLEEP, I JUST ATE A TUNA MELT, THERE IS NO-ONE  WHAT WILL MAKE YOU A TUNA MELT AT 3 A.M. IN SAN FRANCISCO UNLESS IT’S YOUR GORGEOUS WIFE BUTTHEENISTRIAHG, AND ONLY THEN HER MELTSZ IS FULL OF RESENTMINTS AND PIMIENTOES

LOUCHE/LARBB

beef larb is also used to caption images. a woman notices things a man can't.

beef larb is also used to caption images. a woman notices things a man can't.

beef larb is one of the loneliest meals you can eat. aimee mann will never call your cell phone as long as you have a phone and a face. you should join netflix and abandon any hope of wooing the carpenter's wife

beef larb is one of the loneliest meals you can eat. aimee mann will never call your cell phone as long as you have a phone and a face. you should join netflix and abandon any hope of wooing the carpenter's wife

cats are fake pets. it's ok to date republicans, as long as they work in a non-ideological sphere, like iTunes or iMplicasphere. Your nudity is a gregarious tree-horn. Seriously, the steve guteberg of your generation, go asleep

cats are fake pets. it's ok to date republicans, as long as they work in a non-ideological sphere, like iTunes or iMplicasphere. Your nudity is a gregarious tree-horn. Seriously, the steve guteberg of your generation, go asleep

dude, fucking larb, I know, right?? Pantaloons are breakfast in breadddddd

more larb

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