Monthly Archives: June 2009

your shredly mouth

U.S. Poet Laureate Kay Ryan shredding a shredly fibre of Marin singletrack, bro

U.S. Poet Laureate Kay Ryan shredding a shredly fibre of Marin singletrack, bro

  • I have about 60 pages of Henry Green‘s Loving to go before book club meets tonight. It’ll have to be a productive lunch-hour… I was having trouble with it at first — the language is unusual and it takes getting used to — but now that I’ve hit the halfway mark I’m beginning to not want it to end. Many of the sentences are remarkable — weird and beautiful and “perfect” seeming — but not weird in an intentionally bizarre overwrought “tra la la I’m a modernist” way, but weird because the world is weird and the sentence has to be, too, in order to properly describe the thing it’s describing.

    This is one of the more overwrought passages in the first half of the book, but it still made me perform a low whistle of appreciation. Kate and Edith waltzing together to a luxury phonograph in a shuttered ballroom:

They were wheeling wheeling in each other’s arms heedless at the far end where they had drawn up one of the white blinds. Above from a rather low ceiling five great chandeliers swept one after the other almost to the waxed parquet floor reflecting in their hundred thousand drops the single sparkle of distant day, again and again red velvet panelled walls, and two girls, minute in purple, dancing multiplied to eternity in these trembling pears of glass.

cynical douchebag

DEAD TURTLE: Is the phrase “cynical douchebag” Not Safe For Work?

STORK: [Condescending] I think it’s perfectly acceptable.


MAN SHAPED LIKE CALIFORNIA: Blanche!! [audience roars its approval]



FAMOUS MODEL #2: I’m hungry

FAMOUS ARTIST: I pulled all the styrofoam out of the schools and chopped up a bunch of felt-tipped pens and poured the ink (and cut-up plastic) over the styrofoam mound like rain (and… boulders) down a slick old mountain. [Long, stupid pause.] Gagosian bought it for a mil.

DOCTOR: Quit smoking. Take a nap. Wristguards.

SONIC YOUTH: That was our first album. We were kids.

GRAINY NATIVE-AMERICAN ON YOUTUBE: The wheel spins inside of science. It spins inside of weather.


FEMINIST SCHOLAR: Unconscionable.

ALLEN GINSBERG: The rasta… skeleton…

RUTH BADER GINSBURG: [takes huge bite of sandwich]

click me

A homeless man is on trial in San Mateo County on charges that he smacked a fellow transient in the face with a skateboard as the victim was engaged in a conversation about quantum physics, authorities said Wednesday.

  • “Brimming with Nuclear Bombast, North Korea Warns Foes”. Nuclear Bomb-ast?? I dunno. Bombast has a different root than Bomb. Bombast comes from the Greek word for silk, the connotation being speech that functions as cotton padding. Bomb comes from the Latin/Greek word for a deep hollow sound. Which makes this headline a nice play on words. I haven’t had coffee today.

  • siltblog “picks up the ‘mantle’(s)”!
  • this morning I took the ferry to san francisco from my dad’s and was a grouchy faux-harried commuter. The 8:20 boat had SOLD OUT even though it hadn’t yet departed, so I had to wait for the 9:15. Then starbucks wouldn’t let me use their internet unless I had a “starbucks card”. Then the newspaper machine wouldn’t accept my money. I am such an insufferable yuppie!!!
  • perceived slights, I have nothing to complain about. I came home drunk on saturday night and looked at facebook, it was surreal seeing “status updates” about stuff like missing the ferry and tylenol p.m. adventures all up-butting I mean abutting ultraviolent/upsetting footage of street protests in Tehran.
  • “Thoughts”
  • “More thoughts”
  • “Hey, did you get enough sleep last night?”
  • “No…”
  • “Me neither. Let’s be healthy”
  • [smiling] “OK”

New comedy habit: saying “thanks” at benignly inappropriate times. “Hey man!” “Hey!” “How’s it going!” “Pretty good! How about you?” “Good!” “Thanks!” [riotous laughter followed by applause]

I smoke tongues like spliffs; I was banned from freestyle competitions when the board found out I went to private school. I wear my necktie like a thong and wear a cummerbund bong / I’m sharia le’boef, this is my marzipan song: Ohhhh, nooooh, the Noh theaters of Japan are cloooooosssedddd for the niiiiightttttt