DEAD TURTLE: Is the phrase “cynical douchebag” Not Safe For Work?
STORK: [Condescending] I think it’s perfectly acceptable.
OLD-TIMEY HOLLYWOOD FILM DIRECTOR: It’s a gas!
MAN SHAPED LIKE CALIFORNIA: Blanche!! [audience roars its approval]
AN AVG. READER OF THIS BLOG, BESPECTACLED AND FULL OF HOT HATE: I’m a virgin
FAMOUS MODEL: I’m bored
FAMOUS MODEL #2: I’m hungry
FAMOUS ARTIST: I pulled all the styrofoam out of the schools and chopped up a bunch of felt-tipped pens and poured the ink (and cut-up plastic) over the styrofoam mound like rain (and… boulders) down a slick old mountain. [Long, stupid pause.] Gagosian bought it for a mil.
DOCTOR: Quit smoking. Take a nap. Wristguards.
SONIC YOUTH: That was our first album. We were kids.
GRAINY NATIVE-AMERICAN ON YOUTUBE: The wheel spins inside of science. It spins inside of weather.
GAY ACTIVIST: Hey!
FEMINIST SCHOLAR: Unconscionable.
ALLEN GINSBERG: The rasta… skeleton…
RUTH BADER GINSBURG: [takes huge bite of sandwich]