Q: I hear your interns don’t use the bathroom in your office?
A: That’s right. They go to the bar across the street.
Q: That’s awful.
A: I don’t think it’s so bad. It’s a terrific bar.
Q: It’s an awful bar. It’s straight out of Kapuscinski. And besides, they should be allowed to go in your office.
A: It’s not that they’re not allowed. It’s just that the bathroom more or less amplifies and broadcasts everything that goes on to the rest of the office. So they’re all mortified that the employees are listening to the sound of their tinklings—or worse.
Q: Don’t employees have the same problem?
A: No. We want the world to hear the roar of our piss hitting the toiletwater. I want the interns to shake with awe as they hear the grand plash of my deuce making touchdown.
Q: You’re a monster.
Q: Can I come over to your house later?