Monday/////Detroit

—unhappy

—why

—work

—it’s not that bad.

—you know, being hungover at work is the WORST, but somehow days like today when I brought my lunch and slept 7.46 hours and drank a few rounds of earl grey on the same teabag and practiced zazen for 15 minutes and caught up on the news and went for a run and had a fun weekend make me even MORE antsy than the days when I’m sitting here like a puddle of burrito’d underslept overworked lardo crapulent etc

—hmm. i wonder why

—i think it might have something to do with the peaceful healthy lifestyle making things “clearer”: things like … “emotions” …. can shine through more brightly when yr treating yrself with dignity rather than treating yrself like a frat-house hand-towel

—hm

—and so the bright light of dignity is painful or at least uncomfortable and annoying as opposed to the crapulent hand-towel lifestyle which while totally untenable and heinous does have a degree of “comfortably numb” insulation to it

—hm

—do you think i should quit my job and move to oakland and move into a house with thirteen other people who like Tyvek and buy some really oversized glasses and stop eating three meals a day and glue corn kernels to my face and so on?

—no, definitely not, you are a yuppie, you will miss san francisco’s reliable supplies of truffle oil

—that’s not true I’m not a

—oh shut up, i’m just teasing you yuppie

—does HTML Giant own a compound in detroit yet? like a big fort thunder wham city kinda house where young literary drop-outs can rent rooms for $166/mo. and sit in filthy-couch common rooms hand-rolling cigarettes, composing writerly emails, etc?

—i don’t think so, but if such a compound existed I would be tempted to go. although it’d probably be gross.

—whatever, it’d be like a co-op, it’d be fun

—i’m nearly 30.

—so am I. People would be up late reading tolstoy’s what is art? and smoking drum tobacco, having sex with each other, making spicy grilled cheese

—the kitchen situation would be weird

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