Clarissa Explains Most of It

Horsey is champing at the bit! He is a professor of Spanglish at Domenicka Girl University of Barbados County, which is a hot little sub-county within Marin, in Northern California. Horsey teaches:

  • poetry
  • indie-rock criticism
  • short story
  • table mannahzzzz
  • peacock
  • shootin’
  • jewish studies
  • ovary sciences
  • a river runs through it (fly fishing)
  • ENGL204: “John Fante and the Beats”
  • Java
  • NATTYSCI003: “VeggieTales from the CryptCyde”
  • Gymn
  • Gyne
  • Avatar Studies
  • CRWRI404: Politically Correct, Pseudoexperimental Erotica (practicum)
  • tabla (indian classical music)

A student walks up to Horsey on one of the campus’s windy paths. “Hey I’m trying to square Marx Freud and Darwin but it’s hard. These thinkers only really make sense to me when I’m having sex with another person. When I’m in the library or in my dorm room trying to write a paper it doesn’t make sense. But, you know, when I’m having sexual intercourse, during the duration of the intercourse it all makes sense. I feel like I get marx darwin and freud.” Horsey winks. “In that order?” The student frowns. “No.”

HORSEY: Well, come by my office hours, we’ll talk about this problem.

STUDENT: Professors are like therapists in this way, non? [She lights a cigarette]

HORSEY: “Oui.” [He does not speak French]

T.R.A.N.S.M.I.S.S.I.O.N.

I.N.T.E.R.R.U.P.T.E.D.

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