Category Archives: photographs of women

Grainwaves

DOCTOR: Linda

LINDA: Herry

DOCTOR: Linda

LINDA: I checked out thirty books from the library today but I didn’t bring any of them home.

DOCTOR: What books? Why so many?

LINDA: I’m writing part of a master’s thesis this summer.

DOCTOR: About what?

LINDA: Just a fat fake scholarly elaboration of this Transom article from 2010.

DOCTOR: That sounds interesting!

LINDA: Yeah, I’m having fun researching it. The fake

DOCTOR: Hang on that’s the second time you’ve said “fake.” I think it’s become a tic. What do you really mean? Instead of fake, think of a more genuine, a more authentic

LINDA: [Seething] Why say both genuine and authentic? Is there a difference between the two that requires you to use both words?

DOCTOR: [With dignity and reserve] I merely used both words for emphasis.

LINDA: I’m sorry. My worst enemy had a baby last night. I just got the email announcement.

DOCTOR: It’s OK. I know you’re going through a lot.

LINDA: You mean my eyes.

DOCTOR: Yeah. Do you want to talk about your eyes?

LINDA: OK. They’re fucked.

DOCTOR: Ha. How are they fucked?

LINDA: I was taking Acetazolamide

DOCTOR: —a generic of Diamox, a standard diuretic used for glaucoma patients —

LINDA: —and also commonly prescribed for cystoid macular edema, which I have.

DOCTOR: A swelling in the retina. Which is itself a common complication of retinitis pigmentosa (RP).

LINDA: Yup. The RP is the main event — that’s the degenerative retinal condition that’s inexorably eating my vision from the outside in

DOCTOR:  At your diagnosis, at the Jules Stein Eye Institute at UCLA, when you were a teenager, I asked if you could see stars. You said no, and I knew it was RP.

LINDA: You asked if I could see stars in the night sky. It felt a little creepy. That you knew I couldn’t see stars. like you’d asked me, “Do you have a fantasy of being reborn as Frank Whaley’s character in Career Opportunities (1991), locked in an after-hours Target, rollerskating and making out  with Jennifer Connolly for eternity?”

And I was like…”uh, yeah. No, I can’t see stars.”

MSDCAOP EC005

CAREER OPPORTUNITIES, Jennifer Connelly, Frank Whaley, 1991, (c)Universal Pictures

DOCTOR: RP often first gets diagnosed in teenagers as night blindness.

LINDA: That movie (and, let’s be real, Jennifer Connelly) made a strong impression on me when I first saw it. I was probably 11.

DOCTOR: What made you think you had RP?

LINDA: It must have been… I don’t know. 2000, 2001. People were already Googling their ailments by then. Or, I guess, Yahoo!ing their ailments.

DOCTOR: Webcrawling across their pain.

LINDA: Ha. That phrase

DOCTOR: I just thought of it! I love riffing with you!

LINDA: Ha. That phrase reminds me of Chris Burden’s TV Ad, where it says “through the night softly.” he bought a TV spot on national television

DOCTOR: He’s the performance artist famous for the piece where he crucified himself to a Volkswagen.

LINDA: Right so he bought a TV spot on national TV where it shows him crawling through glass with his hands tied behind his back and then it says through the night softly

All this talk of my night blindness, kind of reminds me of this Chris Burden piece.

DOCTOR: Was it that painful?

LINDA: not at all. I mean that’s the thing unless you count walking into things (which hurts) or feeling sad or worrying you’ve passed it on to your son

DOCTOR: RP is genetically marked in some people but many with the condition have no record of it in their bloodline

LINDA: But it’s not painful. The Burden connection is more about the way I went through the world at night, and now the way I increasingly do during the day. Softly, at pains. But also something about the way that Burden has uhhh burdened himself with this difficulty himself. he’s not being tortured — he’s going through the night softly for an artistic reason.

DOCTOR: Cut that pun but my question is why do you think of the blindness as self-imposed?

LINDA: More that i have to perform it, that blindness becomes a sort of performance art. The cane really creates that feeling: when I unfold my cane, with a flourish, the social situation is transformed so fast it’s like Chris Burden just walked into a room and started doing one of his pieces. Of course I’m exaggerating

DOCTOR: At the time of your diagnosis you still drove a car

LINDA:  I still drove back then — even at night! Kind of unbelievable to me now. At first it was really only noticeable when I was like running through the woods with my drug-friends after dark

DOCTOR: But over the years…

LINDA: It’s gradually degenerated. Anyway I was living in NYC for a year recently

DOCTOR: You were in that one-woman show on Broadway.

LINDA: Grainwave.

DOCTOR: That got great reviews, didn’t it?

LINDA: Uh, it was a finalist for the Pulitzer. Yeah, we did well.

DOCTOR: What was it about?

LINDA: I adapted Dwight MacDonald’s Against the American Grain and sort of did a mashup with that and “The Star-Spangled Banner”  

DOCTOR: “Amber waves of grain”

LINDA: Right and there was also a thread about brainwaves

DOCTOR: “grain waves”

LINDA: Yep and one of the characters was the lovable fascist Walter Starkie whose autobiography was called The Waveless Plain 

DOCTOR: I thought it was a one-woman show. “Characters”?

LINDA: And I  performed the whole thing in a Lieder style inspired by Dietrich Fischer-Dieskau who  Roland Barthes writes about in  “The Grain of the Voice,” his wonderful essay on the linguistics of sound.

Fischer-Dieskau’s recordings are played at loud volume at various times throughout the piece

DOCTOR: Wait didn’t you say it was a one-woman show?

LINDA: It took a lot out of me. Also Terry Eagleton has a book of essays called Against the Grain and he’s a character in it and so is an eagle that my mom made out of felt and I did the whole thing buried up to my waist in raw barley

DOCTOR: But so you said you stopped taking the Diamox?

LINDA: The Acetazolamide.

DOCTOR: Why?

LINDA: Well I was taking it because I had the swelling in my macula and that was fucking with my central vision

DOCTOR: you also have cataracts

LINDA: which are super treatable but I don’t want to fuck with surgery until it’s absolutely necessary because my vision is like a little scrap of parchment that I have been carrying with me through the wilderness

DOCTOR: the wilderness of, say, Cormac McCarthy’s The Road

LINDA: Sure. Or maybe a YA adventure book à la Hatchet

DOCTOR: OK

Hatchet

LINDA: And I think of someone with otherwise healthy eyes getting cataract surgery they’re worried but also if something goes wrong there’s a lot more…uh… parchment left over for them even in a worst-case scenario

DOCTOR: Whereas you have just this tattered soft decaying square that you’ve worried over and sweated through and pissed on and so on through the King Lear style Tempests

LINDA: seriously, the literary references here are a bit much what is going on

DOCTOR: I dunno just feeling my oats

LINDA: right so I’m understandably wary of laying my precious little square of fabric out on the operating table. so when I’m living in NYC i finally decide to go see a retinal specialist which i haven’t been to for years because I figured what’s the point there is no treatment for RP

DOCTOR: At least not for someone with as much vision as you have left but recent developments such as the Argus 2, an artificial retina

LINDA: Right sure but I’m a few years out from needing one of those and it just recently became commercially available and anyway the specialist on Gramercy Park looked at my eyes and was like jesus I don’t know how you get around — i had folded up my cane when i arrived so he didn’t know i used one? — and told me I was legally blind and could collect disability and then said the good news is you have this swelling which we can treat with Diamox. So  I’ve been on that  for a year or so and the only side effect I noticed was that it makes beer and most carbonated beverages taste bad

DOCTOR: which is a shame because you love craft beer!

LINDA: yeah, woe is me. but then i started having tinnitus. which for a person who’s gradually but inexorably going blind tinnitus is really fucking scary. because I was just imagining myself once i’d lost all my vision,  sitting there in the dark with my family nearby reading books that i’d only know the titles of if I asked them and not being able to quite make out what they’re saying because of the painfully loud ringing in my ears

DOCTOR: jesus

LINDA: and then one day i was re-googling my ailments and remembered that tinnitus is a listed side-effect of the drug

DOCTOR: motherfucker!

LINDA: so I stopped taking it right away and then really quickly and dramatically my vision went to shit. like a new level of shit. it took about a week off the acetazolamide, and  suddenly reading got really hard. as did moving around, even familiar places. chances of knocking over my son went up by 40 percent. asking if anybody had seen the thing sitting on the table in front of me became a daily thing.

DOCTOR: ugh

LINDA: so anyway i found an alternative treatment which i’m trying but i’ve only been on it like 2 weeks and I’m not sure if it’s working yet or not

DOCTOR: what’s the new drug called?

LINDA: spousal love

‘h’ideo’s’v’ideo’s’

R sent me a link to dis magazine

first thought was some fashion people are high all the time, no thanks

but then I found a video on there that through some facebook integration it said Johnny was into

so I watched it

since i’m “Working from home”

Ryan Trecartin isn’t listed in the credits but his fingerprints are smeared all over it

What the hell is Dis?

the video i liked was directed by @leilah_weinraub

who directed a film called Shakedown:

a press release came in for the band Woods:

good entertainment

word on the street is they throw better parties than Olivia Tremor Control ever did

I just made that up

I got a job as a magazine editor again. Maybe I should start punctuating my blog posts and thinking about cultivating a learnéd persona, instead of this marijuana casualty vacation tweetsturm

the job dampened*

*I never think of “dampened” as meaning “made damp” in this context, but I guess it does. In that form I think I usually imagine something being tamped rather than damped.

my enthusiasm for going Back to School, but it’s OK.
should I take presocratic philosophy or “literary journalism” or history of doc. film or 20th-c. russian lit in translation or spanish conversation or Occupy Wall Street Studies II: Thinking about Capital

leave your comments below, unless you feel hot anger, in which case go for a jog and volunteer somewhere first

you guys ever think about race

started reading pitchfork reviews reviews again, after being reminded of its presence via the NYT (again)

that guy’s voice is addictive, makes sense why he loves Tao Lin. I bought the zine.

I sent a piece of writing that wouldn’t be out of place on this blog to prism index #2, and they printed it next to a sweet chris johanson painting. which looking at it was somehow the first time I ever made the connection between his work (messy/masterful/gorgeous semi-cartoony drawings with ab/ex brush/inkwork, at once punk and mannered, skateboards and sublime landscapes,  with wry/dry inky captions that buttress the work’s philosophical ambition) and Raymond Pettibon’s.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I could’ve found better examples

misc hex dump

JEB: Big sale at Nordstrom’s going on here

CLONE 1: Nordstrom’s possessive?

JEB: Nordstrom’s singular. Just the one up on Geary.

CLONE 1: You’re in San Francisco?

JEB: For a tick.

CLONE 1: What for?

JEB: Involved in a professional creative endeavor that brought me out here.

CLONE 1: But I thought you just moved?

JEB: I did. I’m back for a few days to tie up this loose end.

CLONE 1: How’d it go?

JEB: Today was one of two. Went bad. I knew it was pointless for me to come back here, but they wanted me to, and they paid for my airfare, so I did. It’s a film shoot. I was in the way and trapped feeling all day, going apeshit on the craft services table, chatting up the P.A.s. I ended up going into the office there — unrelated, mostly, to the reason I was there — and asking if I could just do miscellaneous work for them, just to be useful. I ended up editing some blog posts.

CLONE 1: Weird.

JEB: Around four I felt that my alienation had sort of topped out, so I left without saying goodbye. I just got a text from the guy being like, “Where are you? Did you go back?” Made me feel like a stoned fearful teenager. I’ll go back tomorrow. Sorry.

Then I went to Nordstrom’s because I had a gift card and bought a shirt.

CLONE 1: Your bag says Barney’s.

JEB: I changed the name because I was embarrassed.

CLONE 1: Don’t be embarrassed. You went to Barney’s because of the gift card. You didn’t ask for the gift card.

JEB: Walking through the Mission with a bag from Barney’s is much worse than walking through the Mission wearing a shirt from Barney’s.

CLONE 1: How much did the shirt cost?

JEB: More than the gift card.

CLONE 1: How much more?

JEB: Does anyone in San Francisco want to get a quick beer? I’ve got dinner plans at 8:00 or 8:30. It’s about 6:00 now.

CLONE 1: What else?

JEB: I wanted to do a misc hex dump, Dad.

CLONE 1: What are you waiting for?

JEB: …for you to turn up the background

CLONE 1: ok. go

JEB: where’s my beat

CLONE 1: boom tss tropp

JEB: well,

CLONE 1: people now peoplesoft grab a garabedian

JEB: soft pomeranian lefkowitz insaneian

CLONE 1: lobestar rodeo for Rudy (1993)

JEB: Banagrams w/ Rufio’s the only Lucky Peach you’ll need after the sex-change operation.

JEB and CLONE 1: [together] Whoa!!!

JEB: Veiled bra reduction soft is cancerous and bleeding

CLONE 1: Delete the softest tone in that tone poem’s loft hearth

JEB: label labia libel sokal hoax got supersoaked

CLONE 1: mysql childhood?

JEB: radio

CLONE 1: pornstar.

JEB: prada-paseo prado

CLONE 1: destinos,

JEB: reflectos

CLONE 1: island culture deaf squad

JEB: vegan squab; Thanksgiving

CLONE 1: gypsy marijuana trailer coat is dusty warm and febrile

JEB and CLONE 1: [together] Cool!

Liveblogging our reading of the Official Voter Information Guides for the General Election (SF, CA), Nov. 2, 2010, 7 a.m.–8 p.m.

Good Jobbbbbbb’s 2010 Endorsements

Before I became faithful to this blog around 2007 I was a member of a group blog called Crude Futures with two friends. A post of mine from 2005 now makes me cringe (along with pretty much everything else I wrote there, or anywhere else, except for select emails that have since been deleted by their recipients). “Liveblogging my reading of the Official Voter Information Guide for the Special Statewide (CA) Election” [2005] betrays my near-total lack of political consciousness, but it’s a drop in the bucket of my own sub–Ben Franklonian attempt to better myself, a nice way to force myself to learn a bit about the issues at stake in the election. So, in honor of whatever shreds and dregs of democracy I rescued by doing it in ’05, I have resolved this cloudless, moony Sunday afternoon to do it again! Then we’re going to go see Escape to Witch Mountain at the Castro.

NOTE: Elucidations, corrections, and solidarites will be provided by my girlfriend/flatmate, Gerhard Richter’s Daughters (GRD). She holds the pamphlet, I hold the keyboard.

Happy Halloween!

Prop 19

Nineteen is Gerhard Richter’s Daughters’ lucky number! She is teaching the second chapter of Infinite Jest in her class on “waiting,” and one of her students wants to discuss this statewide ballot measure in his final paper!

19 legalizes marijuana under CA law. GRD keeps sneezing. It’s OK to “transport” weed for personal use? I guess that means if you need to bring it to your uncle but don’t want to smoke it yourself. 19 will bring hundreds of millions of dollars of revenue to the state and save lots of penal cash. We are already intimidated by the size of this pamphlet. There’s too much to go through. As adorable as it is, maybe this isn’t really a couples activity.

The Mothers Against Drunk Driving are also against Prop 19. “Allows drivers to smoke marijuana until the moment they climb behind the wheel”? Looks like there’s no breathalizer test for mj. My stepfather told me in full seriousness when I was 14 that he thought being stoned made him a better and more careful driver. Rimpletide told me that whether 19 passes or mj becomes legal in some other non-distant future election, the big tobacco companies are going to swoop in and I’ll be drunkenly buying “Marlboro Greens” from the corner store and smoking them alone in my bus stop shelter at 3 a.m.

Can’t tell how prop 19 will jeopardizes jobs or school funding as “con” argues.

We’re voting Yes on Prop 19 [Laughter]

Proposition 20

Redistricting congressional districts. GRD: “I don’t understand how you’re supposed to know who to believe!” I take some grapes out of the fridge and put them on the table. We both eat some grapes. GRD: “MUNGER JUNGER IS THE SOLE BANK ROLLER OF 20”!!!!

“Jim Crow economic districts”!??! We are going with our guts on this one. Munger Junger seems wrong. Carl Pope says no on 20, so does George Soros. This is as bad as just blindly following the Bay Guardian.

No on 20. No on Munger Junger. Oh well.

Proposition 21


GRD: “Proposition 21 is fun. Ready?”

State parks! Wildlife programs. Best part? Free admission and parking at all state parks! Boomtown!! “Why would you ever not want that”? Con says park funds get diverted to other things. Oh well. Fuck cars, yay parks, happy halloween, yes on 21!

Proposition 22

This one sounds confusing and boring. Silence descends.

It says that states can’t take local gov and transportation funds. OK, we’re done, that sounds good, but wait, “this is one of those propositions that sounds good but is filled with hidden provisions that hurt taxpayers.” Ouch! “Schools lose over $1 billion immediately”! Also firefighters get shafted? Health-care hit? Yowch! What about those local gov and transportation funds!! “Don’t be mislead by opponents’ scare tactics”!! fuck!!!! Firefighter against firefighter! You can’t fight firefighter with firefighter! We are lost.

Just tried to read through the legislative analyst’s analysis. GRD suggested we use a “life-line.” I will restrict myself to whoever is on gchat right now. I am relatively new to using gchat so there is usually a kinda paucey krew. Let’s see:

me:  hey rimpletide

I am on a game show right now
and I need your help answering a question
[Laughter]
[conversation redacted; he didn’t know anything about prop 22! we’re still lost]

Just reread the longer pros and cons. still can’t decide. Leaning toward yes on 22, but it’s shaky. In the interest of getting it all on paper let’s give prop 22 a provisional yes.

UPDATE: Rimps comes through! “prop 22: allows cities to keep redevelopment and transportation money safe from state government borrowing. some local governments (and police departments) are for it, but almost everyone else (teachers, firefighters, against). looks likely to fail.” so, um, we are voting NO on 22 [?]

Proposition 23

Seems pretty slam-dunky. Times are hard but the clean air laws should only be getting stricter, not the other way around. GRD and me say NO on 23!

Proposition 24

Knee-jerk says yes on 24: let’s stop tax breaks for wealthy corporations. The con is confusing: they aren’t really tax breaks? Voter fatigue is setting in. Yes on 24.

Proposition 25

Mean mommy-law to stop legislators from being late with their budgets. They will miss one (1) yummy dessert for every budget that is late in getting passed. The stakes feel low on this one. GRD’s apathy is a mirror for my own. “My brain hurts.” Yes on 25. Maybe. Yes.

Proposition 26

I am a knee-jerk liberal? Chevron, Exxon Mobil, Phillip Morris funded this measure, which will allow them to not pay fees that address adverse health effects of their products? What? GRD and I are overwhelmingly opposed to Prop 26. Happy Halloween.

Proposition 27

Mungo Jerry is back!

Maybe not.  But this one is related to the Charles Munger Jr. measure re redistricting from before — ole Prop 20, that classic chestnut. Knee-jerk reactions differ here: GRD has fallen hard for Prop 27. I smell the same gambits and ruses I’ve always ferreted and sniffed out in my long and distinguished career as a legal cartographer. No but seriously folks, no on 27, I have no idea why. GRD dissents. [UPDATE: checking our work against the SFBG. We’re doing pretty good. They say YES on 27. I defer to their and GRD’s wisdom]

U.S. Senate

GRD: “Will you tell them that I hate Carly Fiorina?”

Me: “Tell who?”

GRD: “The world” [Spits hot chocolate all over my leg]

Do not vote for Carly Fiorina. Big Bad Barbie Boxer is the clear choice. 400,000 emails from Obama in your inbox can’t be wrong.

Governor

Why are there only four jokers we’ve never heard of listed in the governer’s race page? Are we missing a page? What’s happening?!?! Ah: Jerry and Meg are candidates who haven’t “accepted CA’s voluntary campaign spending limits and therefore have the option to purchase space for a candidate statement.” Bummer. Go Jerry!!!!

Lieutenant Governor

He lives kinda near us? 4104 24th St? Right next to Barney’s Gourmet Hamburgers. I’ve never seen him in Noe Valley.

Go Gavin!!!

I guess that’s his campaign headquarters address. Still

Secretary of State

Weird how Christina Tobin (Libertarian) wrote her statement in the third person. Marylou Cabral (Peace and Freedom) wants to lower the voting age to sixteen! Debra Bowen (Democrat) seems fine. GRD: “She’s NOT fine, and you wanna know why? Because she already has the job, and the state’s falling apart!” Let’s go for the green party civil-rights lawyer down on Snowbond St. in San Diego. Ann Menasche, give her a shot, why not? VoteAnn.org!!!!!!

Maybe Bowen’s doing an OK job. In all honesty, I’m probably gonna vote for her when the time comes. GRD might give it up for Ann, though. GRD: “She’s cute.”

Controller

GRD: “Oh, this is the person who’s doing a bad job.” Takes care of all the cash. OK OK OK we’ve been doing this for HOURS LET’S JUST PICK ONE

Andrew “Andy” Favor: “Pro-business, freedom. Frugal.” That’s the entirety of his statement. Libertarian. Evokes the old Nuprin ad campaign. Except it’s funny how there’s a comma after business. Are pro-business and freedom linked? Frugal is kind of its own thought? Maybe stronger to change that comma to a period: “Pro-business. Freedom. Frugal.” Do yourself a “Favor,” buddy! 😉

It’s all about the democratic incumbent, John Chiang. He’s the bomb. Love that Chiang. Always

Treasurer

Maybe somebody from Twitter could be Treasurer. Just kidding, GRD is hogging the voter guide. She can’t stop talking or thinking about Robert Lauten (American Independent). He sounds like a minuteman to me. The sun is setting. This forest isn’t safe after dark. Please let’s just pick one and move on. GO BILL LOCKYER (Dem.), GO!!!!

Attorney General

Kamala Harris doesn’t have a statement for the same above-stated reason Meg and Jerry don’t. Oh well. She’s got my vote! Nota bene commenting will remain OPEN on this post, let me know if you disagree with these “assessments”

Insurance Commisioner

Where to begin. Dave Jones. The end

Superintendent of Public Instruction

A nonpartisan office! Which will keep GRD and me honest. We have to actually look at these folks’ statements.

I think Larry’s statement was stronger, more convincing. Tom wants to expand Phys. Ed requirements — a big strike against him for GRD. Larry Aceves has our vote [wink]

Board of Equalization

Looks like we’re in District 1.

Betty T. Yee! “Yee yee”!!! District 1 is the best!!

Justices of the Supreme Court

This seems impossible to decide based on the data this pamphlet offers. Tani majored in Rhetoric at Davis. I am going to break the rules and see what the SFBG says. [Pee break] Uh, they don’t even have it on their list of endorsements? I’m going to decide in the voting both. Or text WholeFoodzzzz

OK, time for da local measures! We’re going the distance! We’re getting punchy!

For the local stuff GRD will be typing and “I” will hold the book. This is scary!!!!!!!

Continue reading

the girls at dawn

I’ve been stressed out at work and found a lo-fi all-girl indie band composed of three attractive 20-year-olds and felt super creepy looking at their photos and marginally less creepy listening to their music on this blog before. [link]

And now:

http://www.myspace.com/thegirlsatdawn

SORRY EVERYBODY!! It looks this happens about once a summer. Check this space soon for my fan fiction about the stubbled art-handling half-drunk square-jawed t-shirted (!?) guys I imagine them dating/singing about.