Tag Archives: you’d call his parents and express concern

new “LAB O” movie!!

FRITZ “THE SCIENTIST” O. AUSTRONAUTE: What is this, a Spinal Cone?

HIS ASSISTANT: A spinal comb, I believe, sir.

FRITZ: Neat! Bag it.

ASST: Yes. Very good. “I’m on it.”

F: Lemme see those spinal cones you bagged earlier.

A: Earlier, sir?

F: The ones I mentioned.

A: I don’t recall your…

F: You cunty little rodent! I’ll fucking strangle you! You’re worthless!!! [FRITZ strangles his ASSISTANT. The ASST makes choking/gurgling noises, and eventually expires. FRITZ lets him fall to the ground. He stands over his former ASSISTANT, heaving]

F: [cont] I’ve… I’ve just… murdered… my assistant!

[a big black cartoon bird carrying a huge roll of cartoon parchment flaps into the frame, blocking pretty much anything. With a wet cartoon farting noise the bird opens his beak and drops the roll and it unfurls and awesome crunching riffin theme music starts and the credits roll:

DICKFACE INTERESTS

A NEW FILM

BY A.P. COUNTERHEAPPP

STARRING

GIGGLY PAUNCE

AS

“SHIT F.”

AND

LAB O

AS

“0 TOWNE VAN SAINT”

PLUS

CAPERS

NUTS

CLIMATE CHANGE

CLIMATE X. CHANGE

AND SO FORTH

© 2009 BEAF BORNE PRODUCTIONS

MCXMLLXMLLCLMXLM

[The parchment lights on fire and burns away, revealing FRITZ still standing there, still panting. He hasn’t moved. The asst. still lies dead before him. The hearth crackles. There’s a raven on a little perch. It’s a fake Disney Allen Poe raven. Shut up.]

FRITZ: I must… I have to… I’m not…. Whatever….

[a groovy little dude busts in and totally creams FRITZ with a waterballoon. I actually don’t care, do you? I mean Right? Who cares? Laters]

thumbsup_stork-761840

I try REALLY HARD (sometimes) not to be cynical, but this jpeg makes me feel like a greasy saucebox of fake-angry nonsense

I try REALLY HARD (sometimes) not to be cynical, but this jpeg makes me feel like a greasy saucebox of fake-angry nonsense